Information for families in Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole

What's this all about?

The relationships our children see between the people they love affects their happiness and well-being. It is crucial to show your child that the adults they love can manage their arguments and relationship in a healthy way.

This picture shows how many children feel when their parents are arguing. Think about your own children – is this how they are when you’ve been arguing?


What does the evidence say?

This shows how important it is for a child that parents are able to argue in a positive way. Take a few minutes to think about this, it’s powerful stuff!

Harmful versus helpful arguments

Disagreement between parents can happen whether you are together, separated or divorced, but how we manage arguments is important, allowing tensions to be dealt with and for the relationship to move on. It’s really important for children to see their parents are able to come to agreement in a positive way.

How do you handle your arguments? Is it helpful? Or harmful?


How do arguments work?

Arguments, when kept under control, are an important and natural part of relationships. What matters is how you manage your arguments so that you handle them in a helpful way that leaves everyone feeling okay. Parent relationships that have regular and unresolved arguments can affect children emotionally and their future relationships.

When you know how arguments work, you can learn to keep them under control.

What do people argue about?

Have a think about the things that the two of you argue about regularly. Can you talk about this and work out a way to approach these “triggers” in a more positive way?

Parental conflict or domestic abuse?

Parental conflict and domestic abuse are two separate things, but it can sometimes be difficult to work out if your relationship is abusive or just in a bad place.

As a general guide, if your relationship with your partner, ex-partner or a member of your family is abusive:

  • they will want to hold all the power and control
  • you might be afraid of them
  • the abuse will have happened more than once, or you will notice patterns.

For more information click here.